My baby you’ll be.

I’ll love you forever,
I’ll like you for always,
As long as I’m living
my baby you’ll be.

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How did it all began.

I got a text from my friend telling me Nic fainted. I recall being in a mall, standing in front of a mirror. We worked in the same office space. Nic was always working too hard, made more double dates than a person should. So when this actually happened, we simply concluded, it must be work. I dropped him a text, asking if he’s alright and his favourite reply was/is “Yo wassap?”. Maybe he thought it was cool (probably still think it is).

He is always hungry, I guess it didn’t strike me at that time when he said “Is there anything to eat in the office?”, and I offered my one and only Dove chocolate bar. I must stress how precious this bar is to me. At this point, Dove wasn’t even in the market just yet! And I actually saved it because when I took a bite from others, it was one of the smoothest commercialised chocolates I’ve ever tasted. Beats Cadbury! But you know, I didn’t want him to faint again so I just passed it over “Here, have it.”

About a week later, he walked over to my place, opened my drawer and put his hands in it, digging, and out came that chocolate. Shocked me, “What?! You hid it there??” Right under my nose, within my eyeshot, he hid the chocolate bar I gave him, still brand new.

Now this funny act of his caught my attention. So I guess, that is how it all began. For me.

He said it was when I handed him that bar of chocolate, how very nice of me to offer (but he didn’t say no). And the reason he hid it at my place “because it was the safest place I could think of.”

However, from the day I gave him that bar, till the week later when he was caught in my drawers *wink*, the boxes and boxes of the samples that were passed in the office, all gone, devoured by greed of the samplers. So when he retrieved that bar, and they saw him holding it, shouts of “WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?!” “I THOUGHT THERE ISN’T ANY LEFT!” “CAN I HAVE SOME?!”, we aren’t in Bosnia people.

Though he denied them all, proclaiming it was given to him and it is his.

So I guess, that is how it all began. For him.

A story aged older than two. I suppose there’s a handful more of history and pranks to be told. Maybe one day, and some to be kept as secrets.

Poker face.

Ah, the Poker Face. I’ve yet to master it.

I’m sure you’ve encountered awkward situations. Situations where you would like to pretend you are clueless to what was just said, but you know every little gritty detail? Like you’re 14 and your parents’ friends made a dirty joke and you have to not laugh. You understood it. But you can’t laugh, because ‘Hey what’s a 14 year old knowing that?’.

I’ve been in many, countless, situations of this sort. Top of my mind, the most awful, awful, attempt of pulling a poker face:

Scene: My almost 18 year old brother, my boyfriend and I were playing Quiz Up, logo category.

PaneraLogoNic: What’s this?
Me: Panera!
Nic: How do you know that?
Me: It looks like a Panini bread to me. (Yeah, I somehow associate them both.)
Nic: What’s a Panini bread? Are you sure Panini’s a bread?
Bro: Yeah, Panini’s a bread.
Nic: Ooh.. What about Punani?
Bro: *VERY CONFIDENTLY* I think it’s a type of tribe.

My face. My face. My face contoured, stiffening my laughter. And he just had to look at me, with that smile, waiting for the joy when I acknowledge. Longs for it.

No. Don’t. JUST DON’T SMILE. Act like nothing was said. Just DON”T.

And he went on.. “So what do they do? Hunt in caves?”

——-

The latest joke he came up with while we were lunging two big bottles of juice across the park for the guards:

‘What’s the scariest bin?’

Bini.

Note* Bini means wife in Malay.

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Fine. I’ll concede. It’s hilarious. All of it.

Happy Milestone Hun!

 

 

But I do.

One, two, three and here it goes..

You pass by our favourite cafe and drop me a text, ‘Next date?’
You plucking a flower, tucking it behind my ear.
You holding the door open and leading me by the small of my back.
You pulling the chair out and helping me in.
You popping open my can of soda before ‘Would you?’ touches my lips.
Your postings of me.

Your introduction of me, ‘My girlfriend, Linda’.
Your little post it notes on my belongings.
You knowing my favourites.
You stirring up a cup of honey for me in the morning.
You turning on the shower to the right temperature before I step in.
You asking me to tune into a channel with a song dedication.

You seeking me at your most vulnerable.
You asking me to teach you.
Your apologies.
Your bear hug while I cry.
You asking then listening about my thoughts.
You not needing a reason to smile at me.

Your text ‘Have dinner with me?’.
You telling me to put on my prettiest dress and whisking me on a date.
You cutting my steak.
You dropping me off at work and popping by for lunch.
You getting me a comb and a shower cap.
You making me the first you turn to for every spare moment, every excitement and every disappointment.

Your ways of looking at me.
You holding my hands, always.
You tightening your grip when we hold hands during tougher times.
You talking of  inspirations for our home.
Your elaborate surprises.
You calling me baby.

You letting me have the first sip.
You watching my favourite series with me.
You cooking, scrubbing dishes and throwing trash.
Your attempts to scare me in the dark.
Your love for my pet.
You kissing me on the forehead.

Your whole honesty without omission.
Your special name for me in your phone book.
You holding conversations with my side of the circle.
Your ways of hinting me of your long nails.
Your countless reminders of your love for me.
You putting me at the top of your list.

You might not know how nice these are,
but I do.

So where do we start?

So where do you go with your innermost thoughts, your basic need to share what truly bothers you? It is difficult to know who your true friends are and how much about yourself and your concerns you can share with them. They might use your honesty; they could exploit your weaknesses and take advantage of your desire to communicate.

And although your family is considered an island of certainty in the vast ocean of doubt, sometimes even they fail to give a satisfying answer. It comes down to somebody who offers more than what parental guidance can.

It calls for a person unlike your buddies and their advice. If you just want to let loose and be you who are, find somebody who takes you for exactly that person; a person around whom you don’t have to hide behind a façade of maturity or mask of unvoiced opinions. A girlfriend.

The Right Time For A Relationship, Elite Daily.